At Last

Subject: At Last Thu Jan 22, 2009 9:48 pm

The week leading up to today was spent up to my ears in plans. Fabric swatches, dress fittings, food tasting, decoration approval, and anything else my mother felt the need to shove in front of my face were commanding my afternoons. Mornings were still reserved for official business. Meetings with Noel and the guild leaders to make sure we were all still on task with our various efforts around the area were scheduled before noon everyday. Then after a light lunch enjoyed in peace, my mother would breeze in with the day's major task and take over. Since the engagement party was put behind us my mother had insisted that Darius and I spend our nights alone. At first I thought she was thinking that it would be the proper thing to do, to end our sinful relations for the few days before our wedding. That may have played into it a bit but she assured me that it was not the main reason. She thought it would be the best thing for both of us. To have a period of time without each other's touch. Mother thought that taking the physical break from our relationship would make our wedding night closer to what it would have been had we never begun sharing a bed. I knew she'd hoped that I would enter into true womanhood on my wedding night after a large glorious wedding to the man of my dreams. Well she wasn't getting the entire picture she'd imagined. I will be marrying the man of my dreams in just a few moments, and it will be a semi large ceremony decorated beautifully by my mother. I just wouldn't be entering my marriage bed with my virtue intact. I had missed the presence of my love in my bed every night since the party and to tell the truth, I couldn't wait to get him back into it. If it wasn't for my mother and all the effort she had already put into this ceremony, I would have warped to him days ago and begged him to elope with me in some tiny picturesque chapel on some bluff overlooking the sea. Somewhere in the back of my mind this week spent apart from him scared me. If I let my fears come to the surface they consisted of thoughts that he would change his mind, get cold feet, or even find someone to replace me in his life. The logical part of my mind would then assert itself and chide me for thinking anything of the sort.

So here I stand, in the bedroom that he and I had shared for so long. My mother flitting and fretting around the room as she gathers all of the accessories that I will need. My dress was already on and looked amazing. In the looking glass I could barely recognize myself. Adorned in smooth ivory fabric, hanging off of my shoulders to leave them bare, I stand and gaze at my reflection. Mother gently places her necklace, the one that had been my grandmother's, around my neck and fastens the clasp. The silver shone against my skin, the large blue gem and the smaller clear ones accenting it catch the light and throw tiny rainbows around the room. Then mother hands me my rings. Both given to me by Darius. The blue ring that strengthens my water magic slides easily onto the ring finger of my right hand while the captured star, the ring my father had made for my mother, fits in it's new home on the ring finger of my left hand. Except for the tiny silver stars holding my hair in place, these would be all I would wear today. The relationship between Darius and myself had never been one of great embellishments, and so I would not become his wife while wearing such. He had asked for my hand knowing that I was essentially a simple woman, I would appear before that altar at his side dressed as simply as my mother would allow.

Once I was dressed and my mother calmed down enough to step back and look over me, I saw the glint of tears in her eyes. She was an emotional woman so today's tears did not surprise me at all, in fact I expected them sooner than they came. She gave me a few short words of advice, nothing she hadn't told me before. Basically she said for me to remember the feelings I carried with me today, remember whatever it is that I feel when I first catch sight of my love waiting for me at that altar, and to remember the hope he and I both carry for our joint future. With that said, she led me from the room to where she, my father, and I would share the short carriage ride to the temple where Darius was hopefully waiting to marry me.

823

Subject: Re: At Last Fri Jan 23, 2009 1:12 am

There was a bit of a hubbub in the week leading up to the big day. Most noticeably to myself was the fact that my lover and I were to share separate beds leading up to our holy union. Hell week could be used to define it as sharing the bed had become as much a part of my daily ritual as bathing and going to sleep; though I knew if it was the wish of my future mother in law, it had to be observed without mistake. There was plenty of time to think during this time leading up to the wedding. It saddened me to some extent that I had not anyone in terms of family on my side to bring to the ceremony; I only had the friends I had gained along the way due to my relationship with the beautiful merchant and her family. That Guy, of course, was like a brother to me, but how could I truly know what that feeling was unless I had a brother to compare him with? The thought that I could possibly have a brother out there somewhere could not be ruled out either. Either way, the only thing I had to offer was myself and hopefully a few familiar faces would greet me on this big day alongside my soon to be wife and her friends and family.

The greatest fear leading up to the day would be the doubt brought up by the fact that I should have doubts, but do not. That must signify that something was wrong with me, for, in the various meetings at taverns with That Guy over the ales of Al'Yak, it was explained that doubt and cold feet were normal, and for me to not have those was unnatural, therefore something was terribly wrong. Aside from the self induced internal conflict, I looked forwards to the wedding day with the obvious reward being the bed that awaits me at the end of the physical fast I was in the process of enduring. Aside from that, Nicole and I would become a family in the real sense of the term and I would official gain something that had been denied me throughout most of my life. I was not stepping into this purely truthfully, however, which was another point that lingered in my mind as I had never told Nicole about my near/pseudo death experience.

That back story leads to the present where I find myself garbed in clothing that would put my attire at the recent social event, to shame. I found myself in a temple awaiting the arrival of my muse in a world much my own despite whatever surroundings surround me. It wouldn't be called anxiousness, but it wouldn't be calm either. Chaotic as always, my mind mulls over wondering if I were okay with the actual event, or if it was a bother. The bad thing about being so easy going is the lack of understanding when something was out of my comfort zone or not; still a well of happiness sits just beneath the surface as a soft aura of contentment seems to comfort me at this time.

531

Subject: Re: At Last Fri Jan 23, 2009 2:32 am

The carriage ride with my parents was short and quiet. They both allowed me the time to reflect on the importance of this day and what it meant for the rest of my life. Here I was, completely in love with the most wonderful man I had ever met, aside from my father of course, seated in a carriage that was taking me to the temple where this amazing man was waiting to take me as his wife. Most brides would be a bundle of nerves, wondering if they had made the right choice. Not me. As I sit and watch the scenery go by the window all I want to do it lean out of the carriage and scream at the driver to pick up the pace. My biggest fear, no, my only fear is that Darius will change his mind before I can get there and seal the deal. I had no doubts about my love for him, nor do I doubt his love for me, I am just enough of a realist to know that love isn't all you need. He'd never come across as the lifetime committment guy, what if he woke up at some point over this horrendous week and realized that I wasn't the one he wanted to wake up next to for the rest of his life, even for the next few years. As if my mother could read my mind, she reached across the open space to gently pat my knee. "Everything will be fine, dear, just relax." I didn't answer her. How could I voice my fears to these two? My mother had loved my dad since the first night she met him, I wasn't so sure about him but at some point he fell for her too. How could they relate to what was going through my head? How could they understand that I didn't think I was good enough for the man who had asked me to share my life with him? They'd never understand. Before I was forced to respond, the carriage rolled to a stop in front of the temple steps. Mother got out first to help me step down onto the street and once I was safely out of the carriage, she took me into her arms, gave me a soft kiss on the cheek, and then turned to enter the sanctuary wiping away a fallen tear. She would allow one of the servant ushers to escort her to her seat down in front. Then once the usher returns to the foyer it would be my turn to walk down that aisle on my father's arm. The doors leading to the sanctuary were closed so I couldn't see if Darius was down there waiting for me. When the usher finally slipped back through them I craned my neck but didn't get so much as a glance before they shut once again. I knew the wedding march would start in a matter of seconds but I couldn't wait that long. Tugging swiftly on the usher's sleeve I ask him if the groom was present. He kind of laughed at me for a bit before nodding his head to assure me of my lover's presence. With a sigh of relief I look to my father just as the music begins and the doors are slowly drawn open.

559

Subject: Re: At Last Fri Jan 23, 2009 9:38 pm

I continue the wait in the void of my mind as I continue to think things on the inside with the outward appearance more suitable to a person in my position. I was set to wed the magistrate of an Al’Yak city; a large city at that, one built by the hands of the Phoenix Champion himself. I, one who had been breed outside with the animals, thieves and low lives of society, had somehow pulled a lucky straw in which to continue out my existence. It isn’t long before something occurs and I assume that the bride had arrived. My body shifts as I turn to the rear of the temple noting the movement of the usher; waiting to see the form of my love as she comes in. Finally, the doors slowly open to reveal Nicole unto me and the doubts and fears of before seem to wash away as a soft smile comes on my face. How silly to think that I should be troubled for the sake of being trouble; I would be banging that for the rest of my life. My eyes seek Nicole’s as I hold my position at the front of the alter as I await her arrival.

736

Subject: Re: At Last Fri Jan 23, 2009 11:21 pm

Everything seemed to disappear the moment the doors were opened in front of me. All I could see, all that existed in my reality was the painfully beautiful man waiting at the end of the aisle with that heartbreakingly sexy smile on his angelic face. This was it, this was the moment I had wondered about since I first realized my feelings for Darius. All that was left now was to force my feet to work long enough to take my place by his side. If only the damn sanctuary wasn't so long. If only I could tear my eyes away from his gaze so I could watch my feet and make sure that I don't trip over the flowing gauze that my mother and the dressmaker call a gown. That wouldn't be happening though, now that my eyes were locked with his, they wouldn't be moving until my father places my hand in his. Somehow my feet got the message that they should be moving and I felt the gentle give of the crushed velvet beneath my ivory slipper. I was aware that the guests had risen to their feet, as is customary when the bride makes her way down the aisle, but I couldn't bear to glance at any of them. My focus had to stay on Darius, he is my destination and nothing else matters until I make it to him. Beneath the resounding music of the march, I could hear scattered whispers from the guests ranging from comments about my dress or how I looked to wondering how long the ceremony itself would take so they could get to the reception and the food. I didn't really care what anyone was thinking, except for those dear to my heart. I hoped my father was proud of me, hoped my mother knew how thankful I am for everything she's ever done for me, hoped Darius was as happy about today as I was; but most of all I hoped all three of them knew just what they mean to me, how important they are to me, and how much love I hold for each of them.

At some point, mere moments after the doors had first been opened, my father and I reach Darius and the altar. The music stops just after we reach our place to allow the priest a chance to speak. "My Lords and Ladies of Saint Crystalline, we are gathered here on this beautiful day to bear witness as our beloved magistrate, Lady Nicole Grigori - Kovorsk and our champion mage, Sir Darius Lyrus forge the sacred bond of matrimony. To begin, who gives this woman to this man?" My heart was beating violenty within my chest as the priest began the ceremony, then a sense of peace fell over me as the question passes his holy lips. I could feel my father's arm tighten around mine as his body straightened and his voice filled the cavernous sanctuary. "Her mother and I willingly present Nicole to this fine and deserving man." With his line spoken, my father takes my hand, slips his arm from mine, and then offers my hand to Darius as he takes a step back. Once Darius accepts the offered hand, my father would then turn and take his seat by my mother's side to witness the exchanging of the vows.

561 / 1943

Subject: Re: At Last Sat Jan 24, 2009 1:27 pm

My smile softens and my face tilts to the side as I watch her beautiful form begins to proceed towards me in her flowing gown. For the moment, she looks as if an angel making her way to comfort me with her father stepping to her side with her hand in hand. I hadn't had much time to have a heart to heart with him about his daughter, but I was sure there was plenty of time for that in the future, and maybe perhaps I would be able to get to know him, maybe even go on an excursion with him to see what it is that he actually does while away for long periods of time.

They reach me and my eyes at on Nicole's face as I beam towards her with a light and anxious feeling beginning in my heart; I was really going to do this. The proceedings begin as my attention is slightly brought to the priest as he begins to speak, welcoming all and introducing the event. The father accepts the task of handing his daughter over and I find her hand offered to me and swiftly take it lightly and with a nodding gesture to the father in thanks before my eyes return to Nicole. Softly and under my breathe, I give a soft, "hey" to her; my body seemingly giddy.

964

Subject: Re: At Last Sun Jan 25, 2009 2:48 am

Just after Darius takes my hand and my father retreats to his place with my mother, the priest moves forward with the order of ceremony. I could feel the warmth of my love's skin against mine and failed to hold back the grin that had formed when he spoke the soft greeting. That was so like him. The voice of the priest begins to fill the room once more, this time it carries instructions for the two of us in the center of attention.

"Now that you have joined hands, please turn to face one another. Above you are the stars, below you are the stones, as time doth pass, remember... Like a stone, should your love be firm. Like a star, should your love be constant. Let the powers of the mind and intellect guide you in your marriage, let the strength of your wills bind you together, let the power of love and desire make you happy, and let the strength of your dedication make you inseparable. Be close, but not too close. Possess one another, yet be understanding. Have patience with one another, for storms will come, but they will pass quickly. Be free in giving affection and warmth. Have no fear and let not the ways of the unenlightened give you unease, for the gods are with you always. Darius, I have not the right to bind you to Nicole, only you have this right. If it be your wish, say so at this time."

Now would be the time for Darius to either react accordingly or speak any words or vows he may have prepared for this occassion. If he should only respond with an affirmative answer, the priest would move on and recite the traditional 'do you take this woman...' lines before giving me my turn to either say what I have written or recite the old standby lines. Once the vows are out of the way, we would move on the ring exchange and the special lines I have chosen.

337 / 2280

Subject: Re: At Last Sun Jan 25, 2009 3:14 pm

My attention turns back to the priest as he begins to speak and the attention comes to me for my vows. My gaze lowers for a moment, then lifts up as it comes to Nicole. I allow my voice to guide me as I speak in a soft yet audible tone saying, "Whatever lies ahead, good or bad, we will face together. Distance may test us for a time, and time may trie us. But if we look to each other first, we will always see a friend. Nicole, look to me for all the days to come; today I take my place as your husband." With that I give her hand a soft squeeze as a smile is placed firmly on my visage, my voice threatening to break with the final words, but I had gotten my vows out.

1174

Subject: Re: At Last Sun Jan 25, 2009 5:05 pm

So much for being ready for anything. Walking in here I thought I was focused enough to not be rattled or shaken by anything that could come. Sure I was a bit nervous, but once I was assured that Darius had shown up and was really going to marry me I had nothing left to be worried about. Until now. The beautiful words that my love just finished speaking were so perfect that now I couldn't remember the words I'd chosen for myself. While I smiled at Darius, with tears shining in my eyes, the priest gave the guests a slight nod to assure them that the soft spoken vows were indeed vows and not a change of heart. Then he turned to me and announced that it was my turn. "Nicole, I have not the right to bind you to Darius, only you have this right. If it be your wish, say so at this time."

Another heartbeat echoing in my chest and the words I'd found came flooding back. Lifting my free hand to my throat, in hopes of calming my erratic breathing and pushing away the lump lodged there to prevent me from speaking clearly. My voice wavered, even faltered at first, but then by some miracle all weakness faded away leaving only strength and clarity to be heard in my words. "Today I recognize you, my anam cara, and ask that you become a part of me in sacred kinship. With you, I have lost all fear and found the greatest courage. I have learned to love and to let myself be loved. With you, I have found a rhythm of grace and gracefullness. With you, my anam cara, I am understood, I am home." Pausing only for a breath and to wipe away the tears falling upon my cheeks, I look deep into Darius's eyes and finish what I started. "You are now Blood of my Blood, Bone of my Bone. I give you my body, that we two might be one. I give you my spirit till our life shall be done." A squeeze of my love's hand, a soft sniffle, and one more swipe at fallen tears is all that fills the silence that spans at least a dozen heartbeats before the priest feels the time is right to speak again.

"The wedding ring is a symbol of eternity. It is an outward sign of an inward and spiritual bond which unites two hearts in endless love. And now as a token of your love and your deep desire to be forever united in heart and soul, you Darius, may place this ring on the finger of your bride and repeat after me..."

The priest would pause after each line of the ring exchange to allow Darius time to recite the words. "If aught must be lost, 'twill be my honor for yours... If one must be forsaken, 'twill be my soul for yours... Should death come anon, 'twill be my life for yours... I am Given."

504 / 2784

Subject: Re: At Last Mon Jan 26, 2009 10:30 pm

With the vows out, a weight lifted from my shoulders and my gaze takes Nicole as I await her words. My head tilts as I await her words and then they finally come. Tears drop and I find my hands becoming a bit warm under the grasp of her own as she takes a moment before the priest continues, yet my gaze regains on my bride, beaming with love and pride. When I am given permission to place her ring on her finger, my gaze is pulled from her as I move through the motions of taking the ring and placing it on her ring finger, first mistaking the right hand, asking a soft forgiveness, then getting it right on the correct finger with a bashful smile. As I slide it on her finger, I repeat the words of the priest with my eyes on her finger, before the ring is secure, and it raises to her face.

1332

Subject: Re: At Last Tue Jan 27, 2009 12:27 am

Just a few moments longer, then I would be able to hold him in my arms. Watching the tears fall from his eyes rips at my heart. I wanted nothing more than to pull him close and kiss those tears away, but since I was the genius who chose the formal ceremony and with it all of the drawn out language I would have to wait until the priest gave permission to embrace each other. Though there was a small moment of mirth as I noticed Darius initially go for my right hand yet again, the same thing he'd done when proposing. I knew I should have let my father coach him on the whole ring finger thing. Eventually he got it right, as he always did, and I could feel the chilled weight of the ring join the captured star already there. It would take some getting used to, but it immediately felt right, like it had always been there or at the very least had always belonged there. Taking a moment to let my own tears cascade down my cheeks, I lift the ring made for Darius from the holy book in the priest's hand. The priest simply nodded toward me to urge me on. Turning the ring between my fingers, I could feel the words etched around the band. 'Gra, Dilseacht, Cairdeas.' Love, Loyalty, Friendship. The words, and ideals, that I hoped our life together would be based upon.

My tearful gaze lifts to the face of my one and only. Holding his left hand in my trembling grasp, I slip the cool metal onto his ring finger as I speak the chosen words from memory. " If aught must be lost, 'twill be my honor for yours. If one must be forsaken, 'twill be my soul for yours. Should death come anon..." Again, I thought. "... 'twill be my life for yours." Here the tears began to choke off my words. I could feel my throat tightening as I approached this last line, the most important of them all. Taking a breath, squeezing my love's hand for support, and focusing on the look in his eyes; I find the strength to get them out. "I am Given."

When the priest spoke again to deliver the benediction even his voice was thick with emotion. Raising his hands into the air, holding one above each of our heads, he began his prayer to officially bless our union. "All earthly goods I wish thee. All that's good for thee and thine, and still not only earthly, but all we know to be divine. May earth and heaven mingle, may earth and heaven be one; all through your earthly journey, till sets your earthly sun. In sunshine and in shadow, through dancing and in song, may heaven bless your union throughout your whole life long." Dropping his hands, the priest shifts his body toward Darius and gives the grrom a smile. "By witness of heaven, and all gathered here today, I proclaim that you are bound in holy matrimony. Sir Darius, you may now kiss your wife."

517 / 3301

Subject: Re: At Last Tue Jan 27, 2009 8:58 pm

The soft smile lingers on my lips as I look down to watch the ring placed on my finger before looking back up towards her. It felt odd being there, but I knew that the new addition of weight to my hand would take some getting used to. With her words and gesture, she is given to me and the priest speaks once again as my attention shifts towards him for that moment. The wedding is approved by the minister and I am given permission to kiss what is mine. Turning my gaze back towards her with a foxish grin across my face, I slide the hand that was holding onto hers to the small of her back and lean forwards slightly as I place my lips to hers, thus sealing the deal physically in front of family and friends.

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